Celebrity, let’s repeat the word again…Celebrity, don’t you
just hate that word. Personally I despise the word, the meaning behind it and
often the people who create it, those that celebrate it and most of all the
individuals that are supposed to be one. The cult of Celebrity has to be one of
the most pointless, vacuous, inane creations every laid upon modern mankind.
They are meaningless, a pile of shit on the sole of modern
culture.
I have thought about
this and what it might really mean to be a Celebrity and I think I know the
answer. .
You have had to appear on TV for a maximum of about two
minutes this includes any television show or channel from all over the world, maybe
even some kind of viral YouTube video. Maybe you are a large breasted model or
a shamed politician, perhaps a sportsperson or someone with a talking dog (who
cares !).
You must be prepared to look at complete prat (most of the
time), you must speak in words and sentences that only refer to the show or
shows you may have appeared in (or acted in…acting that’s a moot point).
You must have around three brains cells and think that
everybody really thinks that what you do really, really matters all the time.
You must, I repeat must be on Twitter (why wasn’t it named Twatter) and finally
for money you will prostitute yourself and perform anything that is required of
you by the lords of the great unseen. The Unseen are the people who actually
watch, dress, read and care about what celebrities do every day of their
pointless, uncreative lives. Oh how the Unseen love the X Factor, Strictly Come Dancing, that
Jungle shite where they eat grubs and piss in the woods, Big Brother, Dancing
on Ice, Splash.. the list is endless although I think it may have reached it’s nadir
when I saw Celebrity Bake Off advertised in the schedules recently (yes a
programme now where celebrities can bake on TV rather than actual people who
may be rather good at it and want to possibly have a career in the industry) but that’s OK because it’s for ‘Comic Relief’
(not OK for me it isn’t, plus I’m so bored with Comic Relief and Children In
Need , what about real charities that are suffering in these depressed economic
times).
So please STOP IT
NOW- RIGHT NOW before I put my foot through my flat screen and forever save my
soul from these parasites that make me squirm and shout out loud with all the
frustration I can feel inside, please go and leave me to my TV watching and
newspaper reading in peace.
Enjoy Brothers & Sisters.
