I’ve had this idea in my head for some time but it only came
to fruition when I was walking back home after a trip down to our local shops
to buy something for dinner or maybe ‘tea’ if you live in the North Of England
as I do. My idea is to list the top twenty things that annoy, frustrate or
completely send me ‘bananas’ about living in our modern British society today.
I’m sure I could list more and some of these may seem rather petty to you but
these are my prejudices and mine alone….
1.
People who spit on the streets (a majority of
these seem to include male teenagers, both young and old men and some smokers)
2.
People who litter (leave it on train seats, drop
it on our streets or just casually throw
it out of a passing car window or even just dump an old sofa in a local
hedgerow)
3.
People who have to sit on the outside of two
seats on a train therefore making it plainly aware that you cannot sit next to
them or ask them to move so you can sit on the empty window seat (this also
includes people who deliberately leave their bags on the spare seat or pretend
they are asleep and lie across two seats.. you’re pathetic !! )
4.
Dog owners that let their dogs just crap
anywhere and leave it for others to walk in it (especially outside your house
or in the middle of a pavement.. if you don’t want to pick it up then don’t get
a dog, morons)
5.
People you turn their cars into something else
(you know, blacked out windows, exhausts that sound like concord taking off,
loud bass stereos that make your house walls vibrate and tyres that should only
be allowed at Brands Hatch not for driving 30mph down a normal local side road)
6.
Children and Babies in pubs (not needed at all
when you want a quiet pint and to escape the world, stick to a Hungry Hippo or
something in that family outing vein)
7.
Blokes that stand on street corners or walk down
the street drinking from cans of crap lager (why do you feel the need to do
that ???)
8.
Blokes that wear flip-flops to go out (it’s not
British, the local high street is not a beach, watch out for the dog
shit...take ‘em off, you look ridiculous and you aren’t in Magaluf)
9.
People who illegally park cars on road junctions
therefore obscuring the view of the sensible car driver turning either left or
right into the next street
10.
Car drivers who refuse to indicate when they are
turning (do you think can we actually read your minds !!!)
11.
People who use personal phones as mobile stereos
or who appear to talk to themselves as they walk( I don’t want to listen to
your personal taste in music and it also then confuses me as I think you are
talking to me)
12.
People who have no volume control in
conversations with others or when talking on their mobiles
13.
Any music that falls under these categories
(Hardcore, Trance, Drum & Bass, UK Garage, Hi-NRG, Chiptune, Dub Step,
Speed Garage, Hardstep, UK Funky etc etc … I feel so sorry that you decide to
listen to such mindless garbage)
14.
TV Chefs
(no more please I’ve had enough)
15.
The British fascination with Soap Operas
(especially Eastenders which is just the most miserable, depressing bollocks that
can be inflicted on a daily on a population)
16.
Large Indoor Shopping Centres or ‘Malls’
(Meadowhall, Westgate. The Trafford Centre… how many times does anybody need to
visit a Next or a Primark, shop local you know it makes sense)
17.
The Americanization (is that a word ?) of
British culture, take your Krispey Kreme doughnuts and shove ’em up your you
know what !!
18.
The Conservative Party (personally I have never
seen the point)
19.
Men with baseball caps and or hoods who have
vicious untrained, unloved dogs and let them off the leash/lead in parks because
it looks cool and tough to their mates and immediate family (you are numpty’s
you really are)
20.
Pointless tattoos (you know the one’s I mean - they
look shite)
I recently stumbled upon this place and, after flicking through your back pages, think I might have found a kindred spirit. May I suggest an addendum to the 10th point in this post? Drivers who, when turning left for instance, feel the need to first take a large exaggerated arc across the right side of the road, thus causing danger and confusion to traffic in both directions. Just slow down and turn your sodding steering wheel in the direction you wish to travel! I feel better for that.
ReplyDeleteImpeccable choice of tunes by the way.